When You Live in Minnesota and it’s Forecasted to be -30 Degrees

weatherYour company has a serious meeting about whether “because it’s too cold outside” is a legitimate excuse to close the office.

After your company decides not to close the office because it’s Minnesota deal with it, you make plans to bring the necessary supplies for a blanket fort because your cube is right next to the front door.

Everyone is late because no ones car will start.

You envy the hamsters that have conveniently tunnel-connected cages. Also known as the people who work downtown and have skyways.

When walking from the bus stop the mousse in your hair freezes and turns white and the inside of your nose cracks, starts bleeding then immediately freezes, forming blood boogers. You obviously look beautiful upon arrival to work.

During the above trek, your iPod semi-freezes which means all your music is in slow motion and the cord to your ear buds is in danger of fracture if bent in anyway.

You wear long johns under your business casual attire.

You’re reminded of your age when your bum knee starts hurting just because it’s cold. But then you think, “wait I’m only 25…this is bullshit!”

You get concerned text messages from your Mom asking if you’re frozen.

Your city becomes a ghost town. You think this would probably be the perfect environment to plan a heist.

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