Blah blah blah, battle strategy, always listen to your mother, got it.
That’s a lot of unfortunate looking girls. What a shitty role to be cast in. “Yes, I’m here to play one of the ugly daughters. Go ahead and just make me look really gross and sad in front of a large audience.” Bummer.
Carefy Daenerys, I don’t trust this pretty boy soldier…
No! Don’t trust him, I say!
See! Dumbass lead them into a plethora of soldiers. The pretty ones are always stupid!
Now he’s dead! That’s good, he was kinda creepy. You’re gonna cry aren’t you? Suck it up and go set something on fire with your dragons! Oh. Wait. He lived. Womp womp.
Not digging the Sam plot. Wrap it up.
Arya and The Hound are like the odd couple. Totes adorable.
Wait, did Bran just mind-fuck Hodor? He totally did!
Uh oh. I’m sensing tension between Jon and Ginger. Yep, there she goes. Totally fucked it up now, Red. Kiss Jon’s incredibly sexy ass goodbye.
Oh snap, he can do wolves too!
Oooooh that sneaky bastard has a pretty daughter he was hiding! Get it, weird older uncle!
She’s preggers! Awwww they’re naming it Ned. That’s nice. Yay happy endings!
Wait…why are they closing the door?
Wait…WHY IS HE WEARING CHAINMAIL????
OH SHIT! Stab wound to the baby maker!!!! What a dick to kill Robb’s preggo wife! I know he’s really pissed about the not-wedding but come on.
HOLY FUCK HE’S KILLING EVERYONE?
Nah, Catelyn’s a bad ass she’ll stop it. They can’t kill everyone.
FUCK THEY KILLED EVERYONE!!!??!?!?! EVEN THE WOLF??
Awww not silent credits. I hate silent credits. It’s too damn emotional.
Shit. I need a drink.