Awesome Halloween costumes of my past have been discussed at length previously in this blog. But this year I actually won a costume contest, so I’m pretty damn proud of my costume. Yes my friends, I was Sharknado. If you don’t know what that is, kill yourself.
It was nearing the end of September and I had no idea what to be for Halloween. Normally I would have everything planned out by then, but this year I had to wait until numerous best costume ideas blogs came out. I liked the idea of Daria (again, if you don’t know what that is kill yourself). I also saw a post that suggested printing out the Sharknado poster and going as the movie, which intrigued me but was in need of vast improvement. I consulted the Halloween Oracle, my sister. She wisely steered me towards staying relevant with Sharknado. Done.
I definitely wanted to be somehow being eaten by a shark because that seemed way more fun that just the tornado. I didn’t want nor had any idea how to hand make a bunch of sharks, so I first looked at what options were available for purchase for the shark part of the costume. All the hats seemed lame and not over the top enough. There were a few onesies but they were weird anime sharks, so fuck that. Happily I stumbled onto the Shark Attack costume that I’m wearing in the picture.
Next was the tornado part. I originally wanted to be totally wrapped in it, using chicken wire for the frame and the fake spiderweb stuff you can buy for decorations as the tornado. Unfortunately, Home Depot scares the shit out of me. I went into one, walked around aimlessly for awhile, tried to ask someone for help but was too intimidated by the smell of wood and manly men, and ran out within 5 minutes. Fuck it, Michael’s and dowel rods it is. I also scored a leftover cardboard box to cut into the ‘nado shape. I taped the dowel rods on the edges for extra support, wrapped the whole thing in the spiderwebs and then quite ingeniously hot glued an old belt onto the bottom so I could just belt it onto my back. Finishing touches were printing out a bunch of pictures of sharks and sticking them on. I also had to get people to wrap me in more spiderweb stuff so it looked like the shark and I were in the tornado, so some assistance is required. All said and done, it cost me about $40. Snoochie Boochies!
Not everyone got it right away, but after yelling “what am I?” and spinning around in a circle while making swooshy, tornado noises people usually clued in. And then of course were amazed. I would not recommend wearing it to a bar. We had a party and with about 20 people it was a bitch to move in. You just have to not care about whacking people in the face with the tornado, which I didn’t, but that takes a toll on it. I had to make some repairs for the second party. At which, of course, the booze was at the bottom of a ridiculously narrow stair case which I couldn’t really fit down so I had to ask people to go get me drinks all night. But whatever, I was Sharknado bitches!
By far my best costume ever, and I hear they’re making a sequel…